Recently I was talking to a close friend about a new acquaintance who had arrived in our village.

The close friend said that I had described the new acquaintance as a person who was “OK once you get to know him”.

Actually, this was not how I described the new acquaintance at all.

I feel that in the world there are different kinds of people and different kinds of relationships, associations, and friendships.

Ideally, I believe that relationships should be 50:50 on an equal basis.

There should be give, and there should be take, and there should be give and take.

All on an equal basis.

The relationship cannot survive or be expected to survive if it is lopsided, where one party gives more and the other party takes more.

Relationships that are a one-way transfer of giving are destined to fail.

There needs to be a trade-off, and balance, for a relationship to survive.

In business, there are one-sided relationships, where the imbalance between giving and taking is restored financially.

If a business gives to another business that only takes, then that other [taking] business does have the opportunity to balance up that physical transaction with money.

Finally, there are eunuch relationships, where one party does not give, but it also does not receive. In fact, the eunuch even goes out of its way to be amorphous, be even going so far as to reject gifts from the other party.

You wonder what this eunuch actually wants, but what they do covet is the perception of popularity by association, although they bring nothing to that association except presence, or more specifically, appearance.

Finally, there are some people who are mavens. These are the nicest types of people to associate with.

Mavens are always working on bringing value to relationships.

They do so unconditionally and with no expectation of reward or return of favour.

in fact, they are such giving people, their kindness is startling.

If you are friends with a maven, what you must do is praise them and always thank them for their efforts. Surprisingly, they often shy away from recognition for their efforts.

Getting back to “old mate” ….

The best relationships are 50:50.

Equal give.

Equal take.

Equal give and take.

That’s what works best in business and in life.

Be wary of relationships, friendships, and associations that are unbalanced.

Stay away from investing time in one-sided associations and relationships. They are not worth the effort, and will always end with tears…


Dr. David Moffet BDS FPFA CSP is a certified CX Experience coach. David works with his wife Jayne Bandy to help SME businesses improve their Customer Service Systems to create memorable World Class experiences for their valued clients and customers. Click here to find out how David and Jayne can help your business